Before we start, let’s recall your Challenge first,
I have several willow tree figurines I received on different occasions. I personally don’t like the style and they don’t really fit in my home and I was planning to sell them online. But yesterday my brother in law mentioned that his wife LOVES them.
Is it ok to regift them to her?
By selling them I would have received enough money for several gifts, so it’s not like they don’t have a value.
So why do I feel conflicted over this?
The Unwanted Present
We’ve all been there.
We get a nicely wrapped box with a delicious surprise on the inside.
Adrenaline starts to rush through your veins. We engage in a delightful foreplay, slowly stripping down the ribbons and layers of the wrapping paper… We are getting excited… hyped… hopeful… we are ready for the final step and we impatiently rip off the final coveronly to find…
(or any equivalent of “socks”… like the willow tree figurines;) )
My dear friend, you were just given “the ultimate gift of disappointment”: the unwanted present.
So, Miranda, you have several options on how to deal with the situation.
Your 5 Options are:
1. Sell the gifts online as you planned and buy presents with the money you get
2. Re-gift figurines – give them to the wife of your brother-in-law)
3. Keep them and learn to love them
4. Donate them
5. Make a creative use out of them (creative Nativity scene, voodoo dolls etc.)
It’s all about your “feeling”
Even if some of these options seem to be “nobler” than the others, the choice always depends on the individual. Dealing with unwanted gifts has a lot to do with your gut feelings and preferences – it is not so much about what is right or wrong, but about how do you feel about each option.
Some people (like me, for example) are against regifting; I have a very strong feeling that each gift we give or receive has a unique energetical vibration. When we are choosing and buying a present, we have a certain intention in mind and I strongly believe it should end up with a person it was meant for.
But as you’ve noticed Miranda, my preferred solution is based on A FEELING – my very private feeling which can be perceived by some as slightly irrational and “out there” – but it is my feeling nevertheless and I follow it. And this is precisely the key to solving this challenge – you need to define for yourself what feels good FOR YOU and no one else. And then, stick to it.
One simple exercise
We have prepared a little exercise: we are reading out loud all the options and ask you to write down the very first feeling you have when you hear it. This very simple, yet effective tool can help you to figure out your preferences, and we recommend it for any challenge, where you are unable to clearly define your emotions.
Sometimes, writing down the very first thing that comes to your mind is not enough – especially when there is some fear, pressure or social conditioning involved. Hence, if you still feel conflicted about the options, try to choose the one that speaks to you the most and write down a short letter about it. It can be addressed to you, your best friend or a person that gave you the figurines – whatever suits you best – and shall include all the reasons whyyou went for that specific solution.
In many cases, all we need is a clarity on why we do the things we do and writing down our feelings and reasons helps to structure the thoughts and understand our motivation better. We hope that you will give it a try Miranda and we wish you all the luck in solving your inner conflict!